Poetry - A Madman's Desire

Fragile Victories
Each time I open my eyes, I wake up to do war with my own nature.
Every second is a battle, every night is a victory.
Fear, anxiety, doubt, hopelessness...
Depression is a hard master, but one which cannot be surpassed for his ability to temper and harden the supple steel of one's soul.
Enemies I embrace, and when enemies become friends, from friends I flee: for I am a man with death riding upon my shoulders.

Crumbling Towers
Life must, by necessity, challenge -
Else we remain nothing more than lost:
Mere mewling babes crawling and stumbling
Through the debris shattered and broken
Of our ruined lives for all eternity.

Dryden's Folly
The strongest man alive is only he
who has daily surmounted a fear
til no fear remains:
the wisdom of Dryden, though
lacks just one vital ingredient:
without fear, a man must die
for when there is nothing left to fear,
there is nothing left to learn.

Escape
Life wearies me.
I long for the hurtling moons of Barsoom, for the Cyclopean architecture of lands long lost, for vistas yet unseen and lives yet unlived.
I long for green meadows underneath my feet and warm, alien suns multiply shining upon my face,
softening the lines drawn upon it by the ravages of long, full years.
Death, you ride upon my shoulders, you chuckle soft, sweet nothings in my ear:
yet ever you shrink from my longing embrace.
Why must you commit to such sweet torture,
tempting us with nectar; the gods' ambrosia;
just beyond a mortal's reach,
Yet slip away in the night
like the guiltiest of lovers
just when we desire you most?

Sanity's Prison
When all fear is exhausted
there is only the vast and formless void
tempting us with vague hints of unnatural worlds,
with strange stars under alien skies.
The deepest madness is that which realizes itself, and yet cannot break the bars of this earthly cage!

Truth
None lie closer to madness
than the completely sane.

Shades of Meaning
Genius is simply a euphemism -
A gentle lie,
for those who burn the wick of sanity at both ends -
of course the light is brighter,
but must you wonder when the flame begins to waver?

The Most Familiar Face
Death rides upon my shoulders
waiting, ever waiting
vulture-like, sharp eyes watching
for just one moment
a moment of frailty, moment of weakness,
savoring fear, feeding upon apprehension:
and yet when the bonds of sanity break
when the chains fall to dust
I turn to embrace her,
breaking all limits;
all physical bounds
plummeting towards her with reckless abandon
Yet just when I can see her face
At that fragile point where the veil is weakest
She withdraws, pulling back yet again
what lie is this, promising eternal peace
Yet one more time
Giving just the taste of ecstasy
allowing just moments upon that razor's edge
living in one world, peering into the next
Only to withdraw, giving nought
but the gift of stealing away my fear
if only for today?

The Palace Guard
Fear is but a guard
Death's own gatekeeper
A menacing mask
All mirrors and illusion
Casting shadows, playing at puppet games
Break the mirrors
Light the shadows
Cut the strings
For the greatest reward:
Just one glimpse
of her beautiful face;
No longer a mere destination;
Now a goal.

Liberation
Only one thrill left for one who has conquered fear of death:
Liberty through madness.

Pacific
A day without rain is without beauty;
a day without sun, without joy.